njc day no.3
Well... Today not just any day in njc, it was a special one... Cos i ponned it like totally! Firstly cos of the 8.30 thingy so decided to crash hc... Felt weird... walking down the familiar pathway... that i so look forward to everyday since tues... very nostalgic de gan jue... Got stares from ppl who recognised me. Ppl tot my appeal was successful... or so i wish...
yay... get to sit at my fav class bench! it has been a long long time since i sat there in the morning... but i doesnt feel the same anymore... prob cos i feel out of place... cos i dun beling here? I dunno... Feels weird nowadays... Even standing at assembly, mrs yeo also got a shock... tot i was back for good... again... i wish...
Yes... went to look for u noe who but both not in... i wanted to go back but really wanted to support moziac... So i crashed the general elections... Quite entertaining... even encouraged noezin who was already at njc to come to hc and watch! Bobbert so bobeberty again... but i am sure he "bao" get in one... But i wont vote for him (beocs i cannot vote for anybody.. lol) My moziac... the animation so cute!!!!!!!! i like the uniform... hope both of u get through! Felt really bad about causing inconvenience cos i left halfway... sigh... Must jia you!!
Then i went for recess and lessons with the class... Like the good old times... So happy at first... queueing up in the canteen... talking to classsmates during recess... things that i prob took for granted... they all seemed like precious memories now... a time tat i can never go back too... I seem to have less topics in common with them... nv attedened classes with them for like almost a 2 weeks... later... we went for bio... my first tutorial in like sooo long! missed the feeling of cuddling in small room. haha... got back my bio test and surprise surprise! i got single digit! Muahahaha.... Oh well... try harder next time... Halfway during the checking of enzyme tutorial (which i did... ok ok... i copied... but did not bring...), i suddenly spaced out... and realised how much i missed everything... felt sad... oh well... have to get over it... But i still had some fun throwing pens around tricking ppl that i got very high (which prob no one believe) and making ppl believe that other ppl did way better than them! lol...
I returned to njc later... met up with sixun and hara... sixun made me practise so hard... we ended up talking about our first 3 months and our posting... both of us have the same fate... felt the same... for once i felt not alone... prob inspired by how well she is coping now in a new jc... maybe i join sc there also? dunno whether i can get thru the 1st round... oh well... band ppl seems nice... got some stupid rumour floating around but nvm that... After my prac met xin ling there! happy to see someone familiar but i paid a price... my nickname... smacky... hiaz... oh well... at least got some hc memories here...
Really liked njc today... myabe it is really better for me since i am too slack in hc and i really need to mug... thinking of the pros and cons... life is full of choices...
posted at [10:49 PM]
ReAppeal day no.4
i never wanna go back there again...
i dun wan...
its so sucky...
the feeling of rejection...
the feeling of dispair...
i dun wish to continue trying...
cos i got no engery to...
the easy way ou tis to adapt to a new environment...
to accept new ppl...
but do i wish to?
is this just a passing phase in life?
that i will just get over soon?
will i regret if i dun try?
i really dunno ...
and i dun ish to think about it anymore...
i walk this empty road...
all alone...
posted at [1:49 PM]
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Wednesday, March 30, 2005
nj day no.2
Sigh... Boring day again... in the mornin saw the f word spraed on top of the jnr college's wall... so obvious... Nvm... they quickl covered it up in white paint b4 anyone noticed. My class tot i was the one who did it cos i wasnt online yesterday... sigh... i kinda laughed when i drove past it. But tcome to think of it, njc didnt do me wrong. its hc... oh welll... felt guilty for laughing at it now... When my class told me tat i was the vandal, i told them if i spray i go sprayhc one... haha
yup... boring day again... aircon for the bio lecture wasnt on until like 5 b4 the lecture ended... noezin was like" yes, can feel the aircon..." yup... tats practically all we did today... ponned the civics lesson to go back hc. felt happy on the way back. cos can see familiar faces again...me winnie and noezin were smiling from ear to ear when we walked towards hc... oh well... have to get over it soon...
oh yeah... got stopped by the sercurity guard on the way out, a slip of my tongue and i told him i was j1 cos j1s not allowed out... i was arguing with him... i ws like "my ffrends are all out there, those are my classmates... i am j2!!1" i just stared deeply into his eyes and he let me out unwillingly... haha... no wonder lester said i very good at pan ke lian... like the cat in shrek 2 liketat... a lot of ppl better thank me cos while iwas arguing with the guard a lot of j1s left from behind him lor... evil... haha
appaeal... more and more no hope... oh well... maybe its time i settled down and not let this affect my studies and my cca in njc... start afresh... as mr so said... i guess...
later i went to acjc and concert to hear my juniors play... very sad... no mood to watch after all that has happened... oh well... left early after thinking about a lot of stuff and sat alone at the fountain as i aited for my dad to come...
posted at [11:45 PM]
ReAppeal day no.4
you all dun understand how i feel...
sitting in the office for hours...
facing the principal...
begging the clark to let me in...
getting stares from wearing the nj uni...
talking about hc in nj...
feeling like a pest in the GO...
its not that i wanna give up...
i really got no energy to continue...
posted at [9:02 PM]
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1st real day in nj
Today was my first real day in njc leh... The previous days were just stupid orientation... In the morning, i quickly made my way to school to meet jie yu for his uniform. So funny... he was like"i can see u, turn around!" I just kept turning and turning but i just couldnt see him! Haha... When i approached he looked kinda familier... met him at jts once mah... Haha... Nice guy! Lent his unifirom to a almost complete stranger leh. Just told him i was from his nr class in hc.
Today i had like tons of lectures and lectures and lectures... Mostly were introuctory lessons to the sylabus... BORING!!! Made tons of friends in my effort to set up a "hc reject" club in njc. Haha... Hopefully we can activities like going back to hc today! Some familiar faces like DX from hc flute section. Happy that he got out of acjc! didnt noe that he and kai chun were good frends. Aftere we had a boring chem lecture where i slept almost hal of it.
Yes! It was finally over! I decided to pon my last lecture and headed back to hc with noezin... Knew her from tkk's class and fellow bio enrichment classmate... we talked a lot about life in nj and hc... Very sad... Both of us love hc so much... And hated the "hei an" of the appeals... Sigh...
We got back and walked around hc in our njc uniform... got a lot of sympathic looks from passer bys... Met 2 other hc rejects. Zi hao and zi ping... we continued talking and talking about successful appeals and failed appeals like us. We wanted to stomp to the admin and request them to set up a new class... Oh well... Tat is just an impossible dream...
The bell rang! yay! So happy! my classmates all streamed down to the class bench! happy to see familiar faces again... faces of ppl who really mean something to me... ppl who missed me(thick skinned rite?)... Got more sympathic look from close band frends who saw m in the nj uni as i crossed the mass dance area. the classall got a shock too! haha... me in a extra large uni... lol... Mass dance started soon... and i was reluctant to dance in my njc uni but wat the heck! We danced and danced till the sky fell down... and i was thrown back into reality that i was no longer part of hc... part of 05s75... my heart sank... and i knew i had to check on my appeal...
some o us went to eat at kap after the day...
the results of the appeals should be out today or tomolo... but ppl hav recieeved thier calls liao... i am rather disheartened... as time slowly ticks away...
posted at [7:49 PM]
EARTHQUAKE
OMG!!! So exciting! Got earhquake! Was so tired after talking to bobbert and john on msn... decided to go get some sleep! Suddenly! Everything started shaking! It was around 12.10. My parents were so frantic they quickly got dressed an ask me to go down immediately. I was kinda shocked cos the whole building was moving so frantically!!! The lanterns (which i havent took down from CNY) were swaying!!! EEks... I opened the door... And everyone was like rushing down from upstair. I kinda got giddy and my heart felt weird... So continued to slowly make my way down smsing as many ppl i can rmb! And i kept saying "so exciting!" to my parents!
Then we like waited downstairs to like one... Talking to all sorts of neighbours... bonding session... some claimed thier picture frames were like falling off the wall! kinda freaky when i think back now... waited and waited and finally we decided to walk back up... 21 storeys... We alked and talked and gave up and took the lift up.... Now blogging and probably going to sleep. Have to go early to meet jie yu to borrow his uni to wear... No time to buy today. Sigh...
Lessons learnt today:
1) always bring ur valuables along esp ur handphone so u can sms ur frends aout the lastest happenings
2) if the lights start flickering and u live on the 21 storey, dun bother climbing down cos u are much safer one top. (Only 4 more stories of rubble wont kill!)
3) u are supposed to stand away from the building when u reach the lobby, not congregate and sit on the benches in the void deck.
4) Always stand near the lift once the earthquake ends so u can chiong up and not have to wait in line or resort to taking stairs
5) if u walking up and u see the lift, immediately shout to ur slower family member downstairs to stop it
posted at [1:27 AM]
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ReAppeal day no.2
What to do?
What to do?
What to do?
I am so lost and confused by everyhing,
Disheartened by the way everything turned out,
Disappointed that i could not see the principal.
There is no one sittin in the ofice with me
Is it really because there is really no hope
And that everyone has resigned to thier fates?
Shoud i do the same too?
i dunno what to do and wat to think.
Why wont they wanna see me?
Its not like there are 10 other parents out there...
posted at [9:44 AM]
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JAE posting day
Yes... a day of sorrow and terror... The worse possible thing that could ever happen to me... My worst nightmare... But general appeal got hope.. hopefully!
Today, in the morning ppl heard from zinnie that our class one one person kena booted out! I was very scared! cos i knew it either had to be me or jun hong... Sheldon cos he is chinese high and got 8 A1s... so should be safe... The after assembly, me, jun hong, swin and bobbert went to check! i was freaking out at that point but jun hong seemed calm... we waited for out turn in line... I was trembling cos this really meant a lot me... I made jun hong check first cos i got a bad feelin about me... And surprise surprise... i am forever the unlucky one... jun hong managed to stay... i noe i was doomed... and i am forever ritte about such stuff... Yes... njc for me....
At was totally horrified and terrified!!!!!! but then... i tot about general appeal the letter i prepared the night b4 plus all the certs and stuff... i tot i should be ok... or so i was consolling myself... The 3 of them kindly followed to me to get the appeal form... each of them took one cos they knew i sure need a lto one cos i very untidy... oh well... started filling up in the fish tank cos kinda in a state of shock... checked with tkk and david... both got posted to acjc and njc respectively... but both got strong appeals... and i think igot 8pts which is quite high so i tot i should be ok...
smsed some ppl in my class cos they having pw now... then sms inbox got flooded from ppl like the 3 hs, kl, zinnie and kegan... talked to jerry chai... told me i was quite safe... felt much better... i decided to refine my letter so decided not to hand in the form today... got some nice words from brian... pq... some more band ppl...
pw was over and the class came charging down... asking about me... i was quite touched... Esp huiyi who helped me write the thingy cos my hand writing cannot make it... KL and HL who was thinking bout stuff to make my thingy nicer... Felt immense saddness but i believe i will pull through the general appeal!
Math lesson was free! Yay! We discussed on where to go and wat to do... Thanks again to clem and jon who helped me refined my letter until damn pro... fionally we decided on fel's house... cool... on the way out... swin and bren suddenly canot go dunno wat they up too... found out later lah... yah...
at fel's house, i so lifeless... gloomy as kegan said... thinking of all the possible senarios and my backup plan... practically dozed of during princess mononoke... jon and yt came followed by swin and bren... minnie was supposed to teach me the erhu... cool... instead bren gave me crash course... very fun... then jerry chai called me but couldnt get thru so call swin... so nice called to see if i was ok... they rest of the day got draggy and i could stay there any longer cos needed some time alone... after a dinner, swin treated me cos i got no money... some promise also if i leave he treat me... yah... i was spacing out during dinner also...
on the way back home... talked to bobbert about some fun stuff and sad... didnt really expect this to be my last day in hc... i got no xing li zhun pei! last night i tot just being extra and write write... hiaz.. didnt noe must use it...
Oh well i just pray for the best... hope everything will turn out rite and i will recieve the call tomolo!
posted at [11:45 PM]
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