race for ...
why do i want it so bad?
why am i not contented?
why do i think this way?
why do i feel this way?
why do u treat me this way?
why am i always left behind?
why am i so insignificant?
posted at [8:52 PM]
V nite cum etude nite!
Skip agm soboring lAHHHH.... after tt went to wilson house to change... OMG! i look so cool can!!! really! I THINK I LOOK COOL! haha! yups! everyone got a shock when they saw me cos everyone tot i pieced my ear but actuallyis fake one! ha
frst we did the stupid blind fold thing cos we were super late... hahah! then got the maze... so stupid kept hitting my head! omg... i was so pissed... was lying inside for damn long cos lazy to move. then i broke down one wall and saw the exit! then i just crawled there! haha! cheater! later got the runway thingy! i walked with tess... so dumb! but i think i very act seh! haa! aft tt was dinner....
we gave out the bras but i think they were falling apart! so lousy. at least the pampers stayed in one piece... lols... after tt did the dog fang bu bai! some lousy shit cross dressing shit! my stupid pregnant woman outfit got screwed when my baby burst out. hahaha but it was quite fun!
later everything ended and prom king and queen were announced. we went to my house. not really as fun as i expected cos very little interaction btw the ppl. maybe cos i was running up and down trying to make ppl happy. phew... them tired... fell asleep on jonny englsih...
woke up in the morning then we went to play pool! shit lah kirb sam ct all so pro! i must work hard! kept losing but getting better in the end i think... so qiao! met aaron and family lah! his bros very cute! aft tt had lunch and we gossiped a lot! haha. then i left for tuition!
posted at [7:39 PM]
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Coolest bio lesson
today was a cool day! we got this new bio teacher which was quite fun! i asked him to intro himself and he very sportingly gave a long intro... i was kinda desperate cos i nv do tuts again... well he told us chee's age first of all cos they were classmates! haha! she damn young lah! then he talked about mosquitoes and blah blah... then he told us about his hooby called aikedo (koren martial arts i think). then aaron saboed me and i had to go up and do some stupid demo. nearly got thrown on the floor LAH! so scary. but i think its cool lah. then he talked bout his grandma death...quite sad for him lah tt it happened all so quickly... he looked like he could nearly break down. sobs... the most impt thing tt he told us tt in poly, his life was a downward spiral, zuok, pubbing, boat quey almost every other day. he said tt everything in our lives is in our control and went everything didnt go rite, we would blame everyone but ourselves, but actually, we are the ones in control... dunno leh... it sort of hit a raw nerve cos my life is like SHIT now and i really am not doing anythin about it! kay lah... i think he is one of the coolest bio teacher i have met... hope tt ahem... dun come back too soon!
had loads of fun playing a fool in the library! HAHA!
off topic... but i just wanna say... watever bitches! i can't be bothered!
posted at [12:32 AM]
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SHUT UP
I AM PISSED! DO YOU TAKE ME FOR A FOOL?
Wat the hell? I may not show it but i am quite pissed! You are TOO MUCH! ALL OF U! YOU THINK I AM THAT STUPID! SCREW OFF!
posted at [8:30 PM]
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hk fun
firstly, i wanna say that wei shyuan really has been a great host to the hk ppl! i;m really impressed by her!
Aw man gonna miss janet and evonne! i thinnk i get along with both of them very well. today had loads of fun with them and alicia. they really cheered me up when i was feeling like shit... they promised to go and watch me perform in hk disneyland if we ever are going too! kudos to tt!
thanks for the nice card janet and the key chain tt i koped and also to alex for that tissue box thingy...
posted at [12:04 AM]
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Overstretched... I'm NOT mr fantastic
At times like this...
I feel as though my life is falling apart,
The reality of it all,
Never seemed so real,
so true.
Life is such a struggle now,
and i lack to strength to carry on.
What i once thought i had,
or used to have,
seemed non-existant.
Have i beeen living in disillusion all his while?
HAve i?
posted at [11:55 PM]
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FUN FUN FUN! (when will i work)
ok... just wanted to push the horrible posts now... today went out with weidi, wan zhen and wei shyuan to eat with janet! i think we are the nicest ppl around cos the rest of the class pang sei us! had loads of fun with neoprint! $20 gone just liddat! HAHAHA! but i think janet quite pretty! (not only me but my whole class too!) she from HK immersion programme. maybe can meet her in HK at the end of the yr!
yesterday watched F4 with oboes then met hc ppl and watched batman! haha! YEAHssssss! Both rocks but batman rocks more! can'twait for sequel man...
posted at [8:36 PM]
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happy go lucky
Am i really that happy?
Contentment or self-disllusion?
posted at [11:44 PM]
On a happier note...
Thanks for everything.
I know u wont be reading this but yah...
thanks for being such a great guy...
helping me went i am down...
making sure that i makee the right choices...
and get up on my feet...
and do well for promos...
For offering to help...
For caring....
Thanks man, i really apprieciate it!
posted at [11:26 PM]
On a sad note...
I dunno if i am walking down the same road again,
making the same mistake that once made my life horrible.
Times where i feel unwanted,
Or left behind,
Are coming back.
Why did i do it?
Why did i try?
It feels the same,
sounds the same.
I hoped it would change,
but it didnt.
Though some moments of happiness make me think its all worth while,
but is it really?
I dun belong,
Do i?
posted at [10:56 PM]
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my world crashes
yes... O F F! wadcrap... shit results... i hate myself for being soo slack! why i didnt work harder... but i am quite touched by the concerned tt my frends have showed over the past few days... esp aaron for the nice smses, guan zhi for being really really nice to me in class today ad alicia and wei shyuan for being supportive and nice... many others too like jerry and louis... man i feel so grateful for such nice classmates.
today went back to hc... noezin and sixun was right... i feels totally crap tp be walking around there in the nj uni... after met swin we talked as we waited for KEGAN! met some band ppl and i really think they are nice ppl too! later caught up with huiyi em yt hl and kl... lol started talking like the good old times. really bring back fond memories....
perhaps i am really blessed to have found 2 really nice classes...
I PROMISE I WILL WORK HARDER
posted at [10:39 PM]
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Etude XXX ROCKS
the day started with our section lunch at bukit timah food centre. it was ok lah. the food like fake curry wok liddat. haha. forgot to bring the paper bags. had to made my dad bring all the way here lah. I'm so sorry. like i very bad son liddat. boo
ok... A lot of things happened before the concert tt made me not enjoy as much as i wanted to b4 etude started... i was really worried for a lot of things... tuning, notes, solo and something... i wasnt really in a extremely good mood so i didnt style my hair with thomas... sigh...
yup! it was really a success eventhough my solo wasnt as good as i exptected and one note couldnt come out... sigh again. but i was pretty in tune which was a good thing. haha.
during interval i went crazy and started taking loads of photos. so happy to see my class! haha! thanks for coming! love those flowers! nicest i ever recieved! then i saw the band gang! woohoo! thanks for coming! Got somemore flowers! yay! everyone was asking me whether i played the solo and i was kinda embarassed cos it wasnt very good! then i saw my sec 4 class! yay! thanks for being the first to pay me! haha! lastly! i saw the hc band ppl! YAY! they got me this cute octopus! so NICE! haha! THANKS AGAIN EVERYONE!
aft tt went on a mass photo taking session and started taking photos with everyone! haha! CLICK CLICK CLICK!
the rest of the concert was a blast and i think it there was a very homely feeling about this concert. very heart warming leh. haha! the tribute was very funny... got some sound problem... haha.
at the end very gan dong. got huiling, huiwen, meixuan and gordon come and support me! so nice! even though they couldnt make it for the concert. they still came in the end to support me... SO NICE! thanks man! and women.
ETUDE ROCKS! gonna miss the j2s too!
posted at [5:49 PM]
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Etude XXX eve...
I SO FEEL LIKE A LOSER NOW! I mean... i kinda suck at wad i do... yups... my studies are like SHIT (gonna fail 3 subs) and my bio teacher is gonna complain to my sc teacher... AHHHHH!!! so craps can... i suck at the oboe too and prob everything else too... AHHHHH!!! my life is like so crappy sometimes... ARGH....
(looks at sue, invisible woman lah, she not invisible now k? no lame jokes)
ok i feel much better now... haha. Yups! i sold 27 tickets. thats quite an achievement for poor old unpopular me... though my nj class only one go... i still think they are NICE! really... sort of like... dunno how to explain. anyways talked to some hc ppl and sort of realised tt i have left so much behind in the school across the road... kinda sad when i think about it... Cant wait to see them tomolo though! got about 12 going... quite good lor! better then capricio turnout... hope i get as many presents as capricio...
Speaking of which... i so hope i dun screew up phantom... its so unstable... if the reed dry... low d caanot come out! i am so worried... then somemore alwyn played this solo in hc (additional stress) and mark playing it for ac concet (more stress).
ACTUALLY! i feel so happy to be in NJCSB. imean i met so many great ppl... esp my section! it really rocks... hopefully can get stayover but like cancelled. gonna miss sixun and sweeping (craps sixun gonna read this)... the section wont be the same without a ghostly figure and a blind old lady... yups...
the musical journey is gonna end for some of us...
whereas for some,
its has only begun...
posted at [1:12 AM]
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