Saturday, December 10, 2005
band fest
its finally over! damn sian... so tired. i get slammed everyday by u-noe-who... its so mentally exhausting... but again... its so dejavu... i mean... its like being conducted under the same conductor again and playing the same piece...it sorta feels like my days in acs... getting suaned like every 10 min... its quite extreme... must be so long never see than one short give me1 yrs worth of embarrassing comments and crap. ha! lol... my nj frends all thihnk i damn poor thing but i so used to it liao. lol... let me right down some demoralising comments...
"u are so young but ur hair is almost the same as mine."
"i can't hear u. dun be a white elephant"
"use more air! tts wat i have been telling u for the past 4 yrs!"
"is this note supposed to be sharp or flat?" --> "u have wasted 4 yrs with me"
"lets hear some running notes. lets have the OBOE!"
"i dun like flutes cos they cannot be in tune. and also OBOE!"
"do u noe how to tune?"
"u dun even noe how to trail from F to G"
"r u stressed? is ur conductor giving u too much stress? i can talk to him u noe?"
"u mean u all cant play runnig notes? XXX so nice nv check issit"
"u mean ur sch no oboe stand?"
"am i picking on u?"
but band fest was also fun in the sense get the see my ac clique.... haha u all so funny... so nice now the band ppl noes most of my frends liao. so cool! then get to see familiar faces from hc and ac too! i guess i didnt really socialise much. i felt too loser after every combined! haha... no mood lor.
the only thing tt i took away from band fest was that i LACKED SELF CONFIDENCE to play alone... this yr i may have like become more brave to act stuff or do stupid things or try to lead ppl or socialise but not when it comes to playung by myself. i guess i am too reliant on tess cueing me in or sixun scolding me to come in. i just feel so lost my myself... and seriously my playing was so badly affected. i think i might even sound worse when i was in ac... damns... must have left an horrible impression on u-noe-who and the ac ppl. but nvm... i will try to improve...
posted at [9:24 PM]
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